Showing posts sorted by relevance for query lolz. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query lolz. Sort by date Show all posts

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Day of Lolz



With a blog stuck into its most lethargic state to date, a new issue of them LOLz wasn't really due. I suppose it makes sense to launch one of those criticism missiles every once in a while, assuming my blogging activities are important. But they're not. I lost interest in blogging after realizing that it wasn't worth the time spent on it, since all that mattered was traffic built through tricks and social network pimping, not through the value of the content itself, which proved to be quite irrelevant. Add to that the fact the industry itself isn't as teasing as it once was. The next big thing could be brainwave-controlled games, but that's quite a mere gimmick in the domain of so called "interaction". As to the rest, what can I say? I fail to see anything truly exciting. The whole affair is most likely going in circles, and the most lively and challenging domain of games is about what I could call scholastic work.

However, I should have known that there's always something to laugh at these days, partly due to the overall mediocrity of professionals given so much attention that they think they can say anything stupid and not be called on it. And they aren't!
But I do shout. See, what I typed yesterday about the asinine Kotaku preview could have been worth a spot in a post about the silly shit that goes on in video game land. I prefer my LOLz to be about different topics, so focusing on just one bit wasn't worth a new entry in the series. But now that I have gone down a few links inside Kotaku and read some of their stuff, perhaps, after all, there yet was a time for another Day of Lolz.
So what is it about? Check it out: The Search For The Video Game Auteurs, by Brian Ashcraft.

The guy goes on a long tirade about the film industry's auteur theory, mostly picked from wikipedia in fact and a few other things you can find on internet in less than two clicks. When you think of it, the article is actually very poor in content, when you consider the time these people have on their hands. Nevertheless, Asscraft compares films and games to see how parallels can be drawn between both regarding said theory (which is pretty much a proven one and well considered a fact now). The auteur theory existed because it was felt that a particular director's style could be recognized throughout several movies he made, in opposition to the idea that there was no such style. Basically, if one were to transpose this concept from the director to a whole studio, and thus coin the term of studio theory, team theory, or as Asscraft put it, the studio auteur theory (sic), we would be considering the idea that a studio's style could be palatable throughout a series of games the studio worked on. This is not a given so it's a fair point to realize that some studios just generate games without any particular recurring trend of elements, while other studios clearly have something that makes their games recognizable.
But see, Asscraft doesn't get it that way.

In game development, because the studio is so important and because the team is so important and because there are so many variables, the auteur ends up being the studio itself. It's the, let's call it, the Studio Auteur Theory. More often than not, the studio heads or lead designer at the studio are driving the vision — not only for one title, but for all the titles the studio makes. They are setting the tone. That filters down through the rest of the studio. There are exceptions, of course, but look at Sam and Dan Houser at Rockstar. They have a clear vision and that vision becomes the vision of the entire company. Look at Shigeru Miyamoto and Nintendo. They are inseparable. It's inconceivable for Nintendo to make non Shigeru Miyamoto games and equally inconceivable for Miyamoto to make non Nintendo titles.

It's frankly stupid to claim that teams in video game development are "so important", as in opposition to movie teams, like if they didn't matter as much. How the heck does he think movie teams operate, for crissake?? Does he even think they're somehow more superfluous? It's a team, no matter the size, and it has a point.

Also, notice how he actually ends chasing his own tail. Silly boy. He claims that it's the studio that is the auteur, hence his awkward conflation manifesting as "studio auteur" (as alluded to above, an oxymoron, since the opposition is between an auteur and a team, aka the studio). Which is plain wrong, since in fact it is key people inside the studio (studio heads or lead designer) who matter.
So, Asscraft, call it the designer theory if you acknowledge that the vision is the fruit of one or a very few studio leaders, you dolt. But if he were to do that, he'd contradict himself in the span of two sentences.
In his mind, it is the studio, some kind of enigmatic hivemind entity, that upholds the vision as a whole, not key people inside it. Sure thing... Even the greatest propaganda doctrines are the fruit of a few minds. But now we're supposed to believe that a whole studio (preferably a large one considering the examples he picked), not key high-tier personnel, is the entity that builds and maintains the vision. Yeah, 25+ people have the same vision. What's that? Borg Collective? When do we laugh, again?

The real question is:

Who is responsible of the vision at the core of the studio?

That is all. Is it one "dictator" or is it the fruit of an agreement within that core?

Asscraft's understanding of the real working of a studio (try working inside one for a change mate) is so deplorable that it's not surprising he manages to miss the meaning of Truffaut's axiom. He ends saying something as doubly stupid as that:

The auteur theory is just that — a theory. The Studio Auteur theory is just that as well, but it encompasses more. It's bigger. There is room to breath and room for than one single author. Games are akin to encyclopedias. There might be a handful of editors, but there is a small army of writers filling each page. Even later in life, Truffaut acknowledged the collaborative nature of film production. "There are no good and bad films," Truffaut once stated, "only good and bad directors." And in video games, there are only good and bad developers.

Emphasis mine.
First, is that his grand theory? That there are good and bad developers?
I couldn't have figured it out myself. The term developer is so encompassing that it cannot drive any point through.

Secondly, what Truffaut said is that you have those directors who know how to drive a team and get the best out of its parts and the technology said team uses, while keeping a vision in sight and conforming to it (in more or less recent years, popular French examples would be Besson and Jeunet, whose movies are unmistakable), and those directors who don't know how to or don't care about any style at all.
Same goes with a studio. It doesn't matter if a few souls or half the team out of fifty or a hundred have understood the vision, because if there's no good project director to max them out as to obtain the product the studio's head or heads aim at, the game will be a failure. For anyone who has actually worked in large teams before going small, it's very obvious that the game is not a kind of egregious consensus that is the sum of all workers' opinions, miraculously adhering to some unique revelation. That's just bull, especially in larger teams. Many people are just skilled technicians and nothing else. Some are good programmers but suck in the arts department at large. Then there are the artists who have no mathematical logic or organization, and sometimes can get very enthusiastic about their work but need to be maintained on very specific tracks. All of these workers need a clever direction, and that direction comes from the core of the studio. Then, and only then, a studio may begin to produce games which are comfortably recognizable in their style, genre and themes.


Moving on. Here's an ad for a small video game about the crisis and the bankers pitted against humans.




Cookie to you if you if you can spot the major problem in this silly trailer.
Here's a clue: it's all about the phenotypes.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Day of Lolz


Hey! There may not a lot of stuff to make fun of, but don't be afraid, Hollywood knows how to fill the blanks when needed!

So here we go... prepare yourself for Asteroids, the movie.
I'm not kidding. Well, they are not.
We probably all wish this was nonsense, and it could very well be, but on the same hand, I'm barely going to say I'm surprised. It's just reaching a new low in terms of video game adaptations.
I know that in the past, there's been a lot of conceptual talking on what about games makes a narrative, and if it could be expressed outside of the game... as, you know, could a gamer, by the mere act of smashing buttons, bitching, looting or popping high scores, be constructing a form of narrative?

Well, I don't know, but Hollywood thinks it does. So I'm going to pretend I got my hands on the script.

Story (rough):

We're going in for a summer flick of doom about a near futuristic Earth which, for some very unfortunate reason, would lose an entire outpost --civilian if possible, but military will do-- located at the edge of the system, including thousands of souls, because the local radar dumbass didn't see the asteroid shower coming in their way, and would then decide to roll out a super secret project of space interceptors to go blasting some stone.
Perhaps add a story of pirates just stirring up trouble at the same time, because the plot needs to be a bit more... bumpy.
Be sure that instead of one pilot, this will turn into the story of an entire squadron if not more.
This shall be the flick's climax, with people dying left and right, splashing on the rocks and the crafty ones firing all they have, in terms of lasers, missiles and nukes, to blast the nasty drifting bits before they reach Earth, the biggest rock of all.

Ours.

Now, as we know, there's going to be a considerable brainstorming going on to grace us with the most awesome taglines ever imagined by man, but we can still try to wager what they could be...

  • Let's rock! (please, no)
  • What does it take to break you?
  • The last granite shower
  • Most rocks burn up in the atmosphere... most
  • Those are not from Mars
  • Catch'em if you can!
  • If only Chuck Norris could fly...
  • Momentum is a bitch
  • According to the rubble pile model... this can only end badly

    Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't have let the execs do their Tetris movie after all.

    Update: More news about this... thing... and the momentum building up. You're also going to be chocked (...) about this:

    Universal has won a four-studio bidding war to pick up the film rights to the classic Atari video game "Asteroids." Matthew Lopez will write the script for the feature adaptation, which will be produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura.

    Something's wrong. This industry is beyond sick. It's beyond cynicism. And I hate to say it, but if this turns out to be a success, then there will probably even more reasons to hate the world. :)
    You'd wish you were stuck in a perpetual April's Fool cycle.

    Sunday, October 23, 2011

    Day of Lolz


    It's been a while since my last DoL page (and in fact, the whole series). Nothing satirical or gritty to find here. Merely mockery. Mockery of the stupidity that's spread around about video games, or erected while diverging from irrelevant matters.

    • Take UGO. They think they also have their own games as art page of ten most fitting titles. Check those games, really. Everything is in there. All that is wrong regarding this topic is perfectly aggregated, be it the obvious fallacy of thinking that "nice looking = art", to sissy things such as Flower, to the obligatory (yet excellent) Shadow of the Colossus, to the super hit Red Dead Redemption otherwise the page wouldn't be legit. *sigh*
      If these idiots want to be so serious about games, why have they such trouble talking about games as sport, and thus deriving towards professional gaming?
      ...
      Not smart enough for them?

    • Now, Gamasutra, who ten to be quite pretentious at times and who have, above all, a tendency to consider that if it doesn't speak English, basically, it does not exist. Yet these people, espousing the stances of self-anointed clerics of what is art, which presupposes the capacity to recognize some form of originality and strong cultural diversity and then welcome it, don't really give a damn about modest and indie games made outside of the Indebted, Ruined Commonwealth n'Glishland. They only have eyes of the Swedes whose men's last manly thing they still have for them is their blond and translucent beards and their boldness to scream their gender theory at the face of all Europe (while being incapable of maintaining their population relatively ethnically coherent). Portugese, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Italian small products? Never heard of. Analyzing arcades? Nope. Why the bias?

    • And finally, some random post on some equally random board (The Ghetto). There are times when you just can't avoid it. I mean, the trail of hater/gushers all brewed hot by the antics of Insomnia.ac's Icycalm (or something KirkAsgard, name borrowed from a real philosopher but I'm sure that's total coincidence :]). So I poked my head into that mess of opinions (I know, I should restrain my curiosity) and halted on some anon's positions on life and morals, and the following piece of his post really got me rolling me eyes:

      There are plenty of altruistic "masters" too. For example, Bill Gates is devoting a large portion of his fortune and efforts towards various charities.

      Sure. Foundations and all that. He must mean... aside from tax evasion perhaps, other boosts to the pharmacological industry and support to Monsanto and their paramilitary activities?
      As for altruism, we rarely see that in fact, and one could say that altruism found in the masses could be the expression of higher altruism from people who didn't achieve higher status in the society despite their potential. Still, only leaders (or masters) can really make any altruism meaningful, as they actually face the hostile world with wide open eyes, and thus can make the best choices.

    Wednesday, November 19, 2008

    Day of Lolz


    • We once again get a nice look at the nurtured corporate mentality that permeates through the layers of a giant labour lobster like Ubisoft (assuming it's true, I wouldn't be surprised much and I doubt miss Tremblay would have the company take such risks if she didn't have some kind of backup in a way or another).

    • We have EA, on the same topic, claiming that such methods are not part of their "core values" (understand: their new shiny rules, because don't even pretend that this idea never crossed their mind even once).

    • Reggie boy laments that third party devs are just too thick to understand the Wii and its deeper philosophical meaning (it's not just about shaking a plastic wang in front of the telly apparently).

    • And finally, Eric Lindstrom tells us that what kept Lara Croft afloat for years was not her inflated rack, a massive marketing campaign and the fact that she's a ripoff of Indiana Jones with guns, but instead such mysterious things as "strength of character, fearlessness, and an independent spirit." What's that? I didn't notice any of this in the ads.

    Have a nice day. ;)

    • PS: I'll add a picture on top of this post some time later. Just to know...

    • PS2: If we follow what Gamasutra is saying, it's rather curious how Eidos and Tremblay somehow confirmed that the letter was written as per the lady's own initiative (in private in other words), prior to the establishment of Eidos's studio in Montréal, yet the subject of the mail was "Eidos Montréal", and she introduced herself as being Eidos Montréal's human resources director, and was sent on Tuesday, the 26th of June, 2007. Maybe, but the Montréal subsidiary was announced the 15th of February of the same year. Wether or not the studio was already there, it was crystal clear and official that Eidos would also drop a business anchor in Montréal before F. Tremblay sent her mail.
      Tremblay was dismissed several months following the email, of course. Something tells me she didn't struggle to find another job.

    • PS3: (to PSone) I finally got that image thing done. Nothing too fancy, just a smiley, still plain enough for what it's supposed to do (bring colours to the world!!!).

    • PS4: This PS list is a tad too long methinks...

    Tuesday, February 23, 2010

    Day of Lolz: Heavy Rain Super Score



    Rejoice comrades, for this is the return of the Day of Lulz!!
    This time, the object of derision is that mound of silly reviews for Heavy Rain.
    Let me give you a good reason about why I stopped reading reviews since many years (that should be near a decade actually): Zero proof of integrity, and I don't see why what worked in the 90s would have changed by now, with all those Famitsu-wannabes.
    Perhaps once again allowing more attention than that deplorable system of Metacritic deserves, let's look at their Heavy Rain page.
    Notice, first, the literally insane number of perfect scores for such a game (100%):

    We're enjoying it immensely... It is a game like none other. [Mar 2010, p.66]
    - Playstation: The Official Magazine (US)

    I have never played anything so momentous or revolutionary as Heavy Rain. In the coming years I expect the game's influence to be felt throughout the industry in terms of gameplay, storytelling and interactivity. This is a game that deserves all the plaudits it can get. So please go out and buy Heavy Rain and reward those that have made such a groundbreaking videogame event.
    - Boomtown

    An emotionally engaging thrill-ride from start to finish, Quantic Dream's Heavy Rain is a superbly crafted interactive experience, told expertly through it's stunning visuals and believable characters.
    - GamePro

    Heavy Rain is a rare experience that can be enjoyed by a watching audience and not just the person with the control pad. It's also one that you'll certainly want to play through at least one more time just to see what you missed and perhaps reach a better outcome.
    - Total Video Games

    Quantic Dream puts forth some truly incredible ideas and concepts as to what a game can be, but they’ll stay ideas and concepts until gamers are willing to accept that they deserve more than another GTA or Call of Duty clone. Heavy Rain is without a doubt one of the most impressive games of the last five years, and it shouldn’t be missed by anyone.
    - Gamervision

    Everybody can breathe a sigh of relief, because Heavy Rain was definitely worth the long wait. This is an intriguing murder mystery that will have you guessing all the way to the end. Best of all, the narrative is one of the strongest I've seen in years.
    - Gaming Nexus


    You can literally hear the watery sucking noise.
    I mean, it's obvious Sony is banking a lot on that exclusive to finally make their dream come true, make the PS3 that mature and artsy console they always wanted to make. How in Hell could this game really take so many perfect scores, really?

    Kudos to ImpulseGamer and their ridiculous 99 score, whatever that nonsense is supposed to mean. Like, you know, "we couldn't give a perfect score because we are objective and independent professionals, but it's pretty close so there. So close that it's only missing that 1% which we don't even know what it's supposed to correspond to."
    It's pathetic. How do you make a difference between 75 and 77, 93 and 94?
    How more farcical can this be? Nothing makes sense at all, but it's a good way for your magazine to be picked up by those meta rankings!
    Which is probably the sole reason why Edge decided to go with those silly scores as well (see their 100 for Bayonetta... "trying to remain socially relevant" someone commented).

    But that wouldn't be perfect if I didn't tell you the full story. Luck of all lucks, my first pick among that miasma of reviews was VideoGamer's. I feel so sorry for the naive poor souls posting in the comments section.

    I give them the Objectivity Award!!!

    Admire:




    (Click on the picture for a full screen view.)

    And last but not least, someone please explain why the hell each of Eurogamer's reviews, for each single country it's edited for, gets listed there? There's the vanilla model, then those three special editions for Spain, Italy and Portugal.
    That's four "different" reviews, each of them giving the game a score of 90. How clever!

    Not laughing yet?

    Tuesday, January 20, 2009

    Day of Lolz


    Let's start two tales about what it means NOT to piss off your shareholders, never mind if you should say stupid things and eat your pants to cater to their whims.

    • This one is gold. I may have not told you so, but I really miss the days of Ken Kutaragi. I really think his memorable pompous, posh and full of hot air claims about Sony's consoles is what actually helped them trample competitors in the battle for media coverage and audience mind bludgeoning.
      Now, when Kaz Hirai tries to walk Kutaragi's path, it's just horrible to watch.

      "This is not meant in terms of numbers, or who's got the biggest install base*, or who's selling most in any particular week or month, but I'd like to think that we continue official leadership in this industry," Hirai told Official PlayStation Magazine.

      * or penis/post count.
      Just to sum up: you're not a leader on a market if your product is only going to be doing what it's been advertised for in about five years in the future, while competitors are thriving now.

      "And with the Xbox - again, I can't come up with one word to fit. You need a word that describes something that lacks longevity," he added with a laugh.

      RROD? Oh wait, he meant the Xbox 360 will be old in ten years? Assuming Microsoft will stick with the 360 all that long, of course...
      Maybe things would go better for the PS3 if it didn't look like you needed a Ph.D in Arcane Hardwares.
      Put simply, there's nothing wrong in planning to have your diesel console work well on the long term, if you have something cooking up that's fit for that, but this "Plan", however superior it may be on the paper, does not measure well to what is happening right now, and does not make such a product the defacto official leader of the industry. Geez...

    • Next on the list, 2K Games' Christoph Hartmann does his best to convince the guys behind the curtains (the real audience) that the industry is recession proof, with the obvious implied message that sales of AAA titles won't suffer.
      Why?

      Traditionally, when the economy does badly, the entertainment market grows... [...]
      The recession is coming, but it’s not only about the sad situation of people worrying if they can pay their mortgage – it’s people wondering if they can still afford to spend £500 to go crazy in Ibiza twice a year. [...]
      Cost-wise for a decent amount of hours of entertainment, it’s cheap. Brutally cheap. The recession shouldn’t have too much of an impact.

      Safe that when recession will strike, people won't think in terms of ratios and nuts, and will certainly not aim for expensive entertainment, which 2K Games' titles typically are. Instead, they'll look for the cheapest stuff. So while people will continue to play games, even those AAA, what will bloom is illegal file-sharing.

    • Moving on to a different topic, we learn that 250 K users have already registered on Football SuperStars, the new face of MMOs. While it was clearly obvious that worldwide sports were an obvious market waiting to be exploited (Pokémon is on the list), this one can have far reaching consequences which we may laugh about now, but ponder more seriously in two or three years from now.
      Can't wait to see families split even more as the male faction spends hours before the football match, watches the match, and then spends more hours after the match.
      That and all the intoxicating effects we know about MMOs and how expensive they are, and how they turn out to be a tax on kids without having them working for something real and good.

    • And once again, be you a pseudo pirate or not, Canada's ISPs do not like filesharers (regardless of what they share actually), and have slowed down P2P traffic, as revealed by a CRTC investigation. Bell, Cogeco, Rogers, Eastlink and much likely Shaw have capped such flux in their own ways.
      I just wonder now if this is already happening elsewhere. I admit, I don't have the means of keeping an eye on this, not even the will.

    • Maybe it's me, but I'm almost translating the following bit:

      "It's a sad fact that in 2007, two of the highest-selling videogames were also two of the lowest-rated. So that's one of the things we're trying to get across to students - that it's better to be a play-tester at Epic than it is a lead artist at a terribly naff studio that's focused purely on getting something out in time."

      ... as "Epic, you make shit."
      AN: Huh, after a second thought, I'd say it's more like it's gratifying to work as a mob at Epic than quiver at the prospect of being a lead on a production which won't let you truly assume your rank. Sounds better that way.

    Sunday, March 22, 2009

    Day of Lolz


    I know, the activity on this blog is low. I pulled it. But I have an excuse for that!
    Ha! I had much greater things to do, since I'm no consultant nor journo, and therefore subordinate to greater prerogatives.
    This is not much of a problem tho, as I still have some bizarre stuff to post, and thankfully, our dear video game industry is always full of surprises, so we can all have a good laugh, at least.
    So what's going now?

    First, this story about how Rabbi Micah Kelber found salvation in CoD:WaW, giving him for the first time of his life a concrete enough opportunity to trucidate Nazi left and right and put an end to his bad dreams. Beyond eventually proving how games, even the most unexpected ones, can be used for psychiatric purposes, after looking around on the net about this story, it seems very few realize how hatemongers could easily spin it in their favour, in order to attack video games, again.
    Let me summarize Mr. Kelber's experience:

    A video game's violence was realistic enough as to "flip a switch" in the mind of a Rabbi who was having bad dreams about the Holo-freaking-Caust since he was a young boy.

    Now, not only this case makes me feel uncomfortable for some reason I can't put the finger on, but this extract from the original article is even more boggling:

    As a Jew, being involved in virtually ending World War II allows you to experience the closest thing possible to killing the sense of victimhood created by the Holocaust. And you do it without actually hurting any real people. In fact, it’s so satisfying that when you get to shoot down the golden eagle on the Reichstag, while sniping headshots at flame-throwing Nazis, you simply don’t want the war to end. This is weird, of course, because the war’s end is the ultimate goal of the game, as well as your desperately fought aim in real life.

    Uh-huh. Talk about misplaced addiction.
    Now we will probably agree, Mr. Kelber is certainly older than all those teens or preteens who the non-game press often describes as easily influenced.
    Our dear man was finding a solution in the simile orgy of German deaths. So if a violent game has this kind of credibility and power on the mind of a well rounded Rabbi, a sage we'd say, then... what about the mind of a kid?

    Secondly, Nintendo thinks it doesn't get enough juicy Yens these days (just like a good many companies in case you did not notice). There seems to be some hole in the pocket.
    So the smartest idea they had, in those dire times, is to raise the price of the Wii.
    It's a funny story (I swear) about how the change rates don't return much Yens as they used to from certain other currencies. Of course, Nintendo will milk its customers once more, like they always did. And history has proved countless times that we beg for it, so why stop. We love to be abused.
    Of course, you'd say why don't they simply crank up the amount of Wii they sell instead?
    The answer is twofold, and quite simple.
    There's a cultural thing in Japanese large companies about minimizing bumps on their quarterly graphs. They like their numbers clean and growth curves steady. They don't want bursts, like the one I'm presenting as a solution.
    The second point is that Nintendo has always made it sure to maintain a certain level of demand, and it took a hell of a time for many to acknowledge the fact that the Wii is a bubble. A fragile one.
    Now, it's wake up call. It's crisis time! So, will the Wii seel as well as it used to, while as far as we can see, there are not that many killer apps at the horizon that make it worth the expense for your average forty-fifty years old "gamer"?
    I don't think so, really.
    With Xbox360 packages which offer a better return on game catalogs, at a cheaper price, the Wii could be heading for its first cold shower.

    Thirdly, I was also wondering when would come the day of the first unholy union of the banking system (the whole unregulated broke fest that put all of us into that big pile of poo we're all writhing in) and the MMO industry (flawed in just oh so many ways).
    Unless I missed something, it happened around the 20th or March:

    MMO operator MindArk has been granted a banking license for its virtual world Entropia Universe, by the Swedish Financial Supervisory Authority.

    Champagne! Maybe someone did it before, I don't know, but one thing for sure is that I find this absolutely distressing.
    Why?
    • Because finance is poorly regulated and string-manipulated, only in the interests of those who thrive on chaos and profits, as all Earth has recently observed, Taser fashion.

    • Secondly, because the treatment of video games under the numerous laws relative to each country is disastrous, and still pretty much an affair of witch hunting. It is neither stable nor mature, but those who pass the bills are not gamers yet, so it's nothing more than ignorance and bias. In such conditions, we can only expect the worse.

    • Thirdly, because there's literally little agreement, understanding and fair "mainstream" talk on the real issues of the MMO genre and possible addictions, its implications and how it might need to be regulated (while trying to avoid caveats illustrated by the Chinese ruling).

    • Fourth, because I can't wait for the day people will lose car, house and family after contracting choke-credits on fake goods (such as virtual currency and items) which have been lost in combat, missed in a late loot, or robbed in a way or another.