Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Duke & Pilgrim : Overhyped pieces of sh**

OK, Duke Nukem Forever.
Somehow, it has to be funny. There's the "Duke humour".
No. Feels like staring at the botoxed face of Stallone without being able to feel any sympathy for his refusal to let it go (the pseudo youth). Passé. Bye bye.
I've never seen such an appalling pandering. Such a cheap exploitation of nostalgia (aside from the pre-order scandal of the Deus Ex cameo in the new reboot).
Oh LOOOOOL ROFL, he can draw dicks on white boards. He can pee. Twin blowjob! That's fucking hilarious. More! MORE!!
In a way, I think what was funny about Duke Nukem was the fact that the engine, like all engines of that day, was limited to displaying fist sized texels. You would let it pass. The imagination played a lot. A damn lot, more than you think.
But now, the super duper realism... kills a part of that. And Postal did better btw.
You know what? I don't care about Duke. I never waited even one year for that game, because I moved on, and played other fun games. But the most pathetic part of the Amsterdam show wasn't even the game itself, but the PR guy trying too hard to be cool, and the dumb sheeple. I wish them great joy. *Yawn*

And then there's that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World flick, craving to the geekest and lowliest layers of the society. A silly plot which perhaps was good enough on paper, its original medium, full of cultural jokes ripped off of forums, and a flood of special effects and boring battles, nothing new to geeks actually.
It just tries too hard. Hot Fuzz, that was sufficiently funny. Of course the result would have been wholly different with someone else than Simon Pegg as the main star. I'm an old Big Train fan, and the man is simply outrageously talented.
But Pilgrim, huhwah. Oh no. No. Just no. Cera... is there a human soul inside that flesh bag? Something you could feel empathy for, you know, relate to, despite the difference of age. I was looking for a real character. Not a real human, a real character, something as simple as a perfect chemistry of traits and emotions which really build up a sum of excellency, to which the audience can stick with through the full length of that movie without sensing the tickling annoyance of the writers' deep lack of inspiration.
Nah. Nothing. Truth said, the foes are much more interesting. Even the Chinese chick. In a way, I'd have preferred to have the story told through her eyes, if only for the whole "a geek's girlfriend" perspective.
And it's just not a thing of "culture", because I grew with that as well. It's just dumb beyond words.

Hey, let's not end on this sour note!

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